Good Bye Breast Implants...

Why I got breast implants and why I am having them removed.

For my 45th birthday, the gift I am giving myself the opportunity to step into the freest, healthiest and most authentic version of myself yet. So in 2 weeks I am getting my breast implants removed after receiving divine guidance from spirit. 

When I made the decision to get implants at age 24, I didn’t have the impetus to develop an identity independent on what I was being told to look like through mainstream culture. Like so many young women, I was caught up in a self-crushing state of dissolution and it made me feel like I was insignificant and inadequate in every possible way. I unknowingly and unconsciously surrendered to the impossible and disturbing standards that infected the American female psyche. I needed to look a certain way to be loveable or so I thought and THIS is what would heal the wounds that I had not consciously connected with yet. This would be THAT thing to make me like myself. “Let’s do this, I thought.” Sign me up. 

I like to think one could have dissuaded me from such a bold move but I think my mind was impenetrable full of impossible expectations and beliefs of what this surgery could do for me. And even if someone had told me that the toxic bags I was about to put into my body contained heavy metals and dangerous chemicals and that Breast Implant Illness was even a thing, I don’t think I would have listened. The ego is a powerful thing. At 24, I was scrambling around for an identity that would make feel lovable, wanted and accepted. I didn’t have a clue about anything and I was a lost soul. It’s easy to feel this way when you don’t know your own worth and don’t identify with your soul which is the very thing that defines our existence. 

If you’ve been following my awakening journey you’ll know that my sole focus for the past 4 years has been to awaken to the very core of my soul and being. To connect with the deepest and the truest version of myself before life’s toxic programming took its stranglehold on me and made me feel separate from my creator. It has been my failing health that has prompted this journey and with this journey has come many, many dark nights of the soul, those moments where the pain of existing feels too much to bear and yet at those unbearable dark moments a clarity and understanding of heaven and hell and the gateway between them made itself known to me. The gateway that brings you face to face with your creator and the meaning that THAT gives to you and to your life.

From a health perspective, the implants have been the worst decision I have ever made but from a souls evolution perspective it has been THE thing that has defined my life lessons. It turns out that these toxic and poisonous sacks have mimicked the poison I have been carrying in my head and in my heart for almost a lifetime. The kind of poison that would limit my capabilities and inhibit my full participation in life. And although I have worked with countless spiritual teachers and quantum energy healers to help me transcend and release a lifetime of hurts, programming, trauma, emotional pain, and negative belief systems that have been living in my genes, my cells, my organs, my mind and my whole entire being, nothing they could have done could have addressed the physical toxicity I have been carrying in my breasts and in my being for all of these years. I have to go deeper. I have to face it all. I am ready to let go. Of it ALL.

I have denied the breast implant connection to my health for so long and know in my heart of hearts that it is while being conscious in my path to truth and self-love that the clarity has been willing to make itself known to me though Spirit. 

So to keep these implants in me would be the greatest hypocrisy I could make. The greatest slander to self and my potential. The self-love that I have so diligently cultivated over the years means letting go of the things that rob me from my greatest health and my greatest joy. Because I deserve a life full of miracles and so do you. 

So I bid them goodbye just as I have everything else that has been holding me back. Because I have come to believe in my 45 years in this physical body, that the closer you get to love and everything that THAT represents, the closer you get to everything you ever wanted.